How my brain convinces me to eat crap, even when I know I shouldn’t

Very real post from one of our clients about his ‘battle’ against rubbish food. This guy is an inspiration to us and his family and just PB’d his squat by 20% and doubled his pull-ups in 4 weeks.

As a guy who is always a little softer around the middle than your standard spartan warrior, I have eaten a lot of crap in my day. And this is despite learning plenty about nutrition. ie. I completely understand that kale is good and snickers are bad.

 I am very qualified to write this.

But if you’re anything like me, even though I know what to eat, my brain seems to be able to come up with a hundred excuses to ignore my better judgement. It’s like an internal argument between my inner fight-club-era-ripped-to-shreds-brad-pitt and my very persuasive ordinary fat self.

Here are the 7 top excuses I tell myself to justify eating crap that I shouldn’t, and what my inner Brad Pitt (ie my better judgement) has to say about it. Your top 7 might be completely different, but try being mindful of the recurring situations when you go sideways on your nutrition and I bet there’s some consistent patterns.
Here are mine.

1.       I’m on a bulking phase. I’ll cut later.
Brad: Yeah good one champ. How many times has that worked for you. That’s right ZERO.

2.       But this is my favorite / very rare food!
Brad: Newsflash Dean. This is not your only lifetime opportunity to eat a snickers. You’re an adult living in a 1st world country. Tomorrow you can buy 10 buckets of KFC zinger pieces, dip them in butter chicken sauce and eat them in one 24 hour Walking Dead binge-watching session if you want to.

Whatever it is, today is not your only opportunity to eat it.

3.      But I need protein. 
Brad: Yeah, a piece of chicken breast as big as your palm champ. Not a full rack of sweet chilli lamb ribs with chips.

4.       But this is a special occasion! 
Brad: Sure, have a piece of cake on your birthday. But is every single time a friend, family member, colleague or neighbor has a birthday (ie. about twice a week) special enough for a slab of cheesecake?

5.       But I’m obliged to eat this.
Brad: You’re not Matt Preston. Nobody else actually cares what you eat Dean.

If your 87 year old Grandma flies over from Bulgaria and spends 9 hours in the kitchen cooking up the most amazing chocolate brownie recipe that was passed on to her from your great-grandmother . . . then sure, your obliged.

If Joe from accounting who you don’t even like gets shitty, cheap doughnuts for the office on a Tuesday afternoon . . . not obliged. Comprehende?

6.       But I can’t waste it!
Brad: Once you’ve selected, paid for, carried home and cooked food that you don’t actually need . . . you’ve already wasted it. Using that wasted food to then make yourself fat doesn’t make it better.
And despite what your parents told you when you were four . . . eating all of the shepherds pie on your plate doesn’t help any starving children anywhere. 

7.       But it’s gluten free / dairy free / sugar free / high protein / raw-food / an ancient superfood!
Brad: Shut up. Just. Shut. Up.